My Valentine

(Not the best picture, but I like it)

I learned something a couple years ago, the simplest things in life make you the happiest. Thats why a little over a year ago we decided as a family we would keep everything in our lives as simple as possible. So this Valentine's Day we were thinking wether we would abandon that idea for our "Last Valentines Day" with just us, and go all out. But quickly decided, no way, that just wouldn't be our style.
So we tried to see if we knew some of the simplest things the other one loved. So what did Cody get this year??? Pastry! The bakery we used for our wedding is closed on Mondays, so I had to find an alternate this time, but Cody said it was just as good. The boy is a fool for eclairs and anything with custard or cream. He couldn't have been happier when I walked in the door with that box (1. because he had been trying to get ahold of me for like 45 min, but I wasn't answering my phone, and he called my work and I wasn't there. So he was starting to freak out, and 2. because he knew I had been being sneaky and knew what was in the box.)
I was told to change my clothes and put on a jacket. I got one of my favorite things in the entire world...a nice long walk OUTSIDE!!!! (if you know me well, you know the time outside, and good weather is what I miss most about home). You might be thinking, wow this guy is a go getter...(sarcasm), but no really, he couldn't know me better. That is exactly what I would have wanted, well that, and he took me out to dinner for one of my favorite meals. What can we say, we are food people! :)
But we quickly realized, sitting there enjoying our time together, how it wasn't our "Last Valentine's Day", but we get to add another member to our party next year and share with him our favorite things. I'm sure he will be a big fan of bakery treats and any amount of time spent outside. :) So I think he might just make it that much more fun. :) It may not be everyone else's idea of a wonderfully romantic Valentine's evening, but it was perfect for us.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY!

Sad but true...

I have had a hard time getting too psyched about our little guy getting here. I try not to get over excited, just in case. I have had friends who have lost children up to 36 weeks of pregnancy, or have them get here only to have them depart shortly there after. Its been stuck in my mind since I found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks. And the thoughts never entirely leave. I know a lot of my friends wondered why I waited until I was about 20 weeks or more to say anything about us having a baby, and that was why.

I have had so many friends with so many tragic stories that I find it hard thinking it couldn't happen to me. They are such good people, the best of people, yet they faced such awful trials.

As I hear of these things I can't help but think, if it happened to you, why wouldn't it happen to me? Why would I deserve all of this, with no problems, when you have had so much happen to you?

We didn't ask for our son, we weren't trying to have a baby. Yet there are people who can't have them, who lose them, or have to try so many things to finally have a child. It makes me feel an imense sense of guilt. God gave us a gift, we feel, that we weren't sure we deserved when there are so many out there that will probably be better parents. Or who have already endured so much.

With that said. I feel greatly blessed to have my little family. The cutest, probably most attentive husband I could have ever asked for. Someone who walks to the other side of our bed in the middle of the night because I have had to move around so much just to get comfortable, yet I have travelled too far over....:) A guy who thinks the world of me, especially when I don't think much of myself. I love this little person, who I know knows me, yet he chose me to be his mother anyway. I love the opportunity we have had of getting to come together as a family, and decide whats most important to us.

And if something were to happen, heaven forbid, I am glad I had the opportunity to grow so much as a person and be touched by a little life more than I ever thought possible. I am grateful for the closeness it brought between me and my Father in Heaven and my Savior. As we have had many conversations in quiet times, I have come to know that they think I am capable of so many great things, when I doubt I can handle much of anything (as is the case with most of us I would assume). I am grateful for the gospel and everything it teaches us about families and their eternal nature.

Sorry this post is so depressing, but it was something I needed to get out. I know the probability of something happening is slim, but it is there. And I don't think I have ever been more aware of it than I have become in the last couple of years. Don't worry about me, I am excited to play with my son, but know that have witnessed so many things, that yes, I am extremely guarded.

For those of my friends who are reading this and have gone through tragedy, know that I think the world of you. :) Love you guys!

Winding Down and Gearing Up

So I hit 30 weeks this last Wednesday...something I thought would never come. Yet, at the same time it came so fast. My sister Erin put it in perspective for me yesterday when she said I was going to be officially down to single digits. Needless to say, its a surge of mixed emotions.

I have already explained to a lot of my friends, I don't do pregnancy pictures. I think they are weird, and I don't feel like sharing with the world. So if you see me, you see me. If you don't, sorry you missed out. Watching someone's midsection inflate really isn't the exciting part of it anyway. It will be most exciting watching a little boy grow and do funny things. And I am sure we will post lots of that, because if he is anything like Cody and I, he is going to be quite crazy and do things neither of us can explain.

Little E is doing well. He has been very nice to his mommy thus far. (Yes, I just dropped a hint as to what his name will be). I can still reach my toes, yet Cody says if I keep doing it we might have a baby a little too soon ;). I have still been sleeping pretty well. He usually winds down with me at night, and then we both go to sleep, which is hopefully a good sign of things to come? haha I can hope right? I still have two or three pairs of jeans that I can still button and wear, low rise has been a blessing. I am still under on weight, but he isn't, so thats all I need to be worried about. My doctor says she thinks my body has done perfectly thus far and not to worry about not gaining as much weight as most. I eat like nobody's business, ask my poor husband. But E must take most of it, which I tell him as long as he takes it with him, we will be just fine. He's a good boy.

I gave my notice at work this week. Which was such a blessing. Cody calls it my early retirement. My last day of work will be March 18th. (I pushed it back a month so I could cover some of the other girls' vacation, aren't I so nice? haha jk). So I will start prepping the kitchen for the little remodel we have planned, and hopefully Cody will be able to start on tearing out and reassembling the new bathroom. We hope to have quite a bit done by the time our little guy is blessed. We will see what happens.

Cody has been crazy busy with his job. They moved to quite a larger building and he has been preoccupied making sure everything is organized the way he wants it. He is paranoid that if someone else tries to do it, it won't be the way he likes it. So he is home a bit later, but it gives me a bit more time after I get home from work to have dinner on the table af before he gets home. :)

Next thing to tackle is our hospital tour and birthing classes the next couple of weekends. Its going to be here before you know it. I still need to pick my pediatrician, crap! Wish me luck!