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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Onward

I was talking to my sister yesterday or Saturday, I can't remember. But I specifically told her I didn't think I had 6 weeks of pregnancy left in me...Cut to today, I find out its very possible I won't. It is also very possible I will, but I just thought it interesting that I felt that way, and then I went to my doctor the very next day and basically had my feelings confirmed. I have known for a couple weeks that my amniotic fluid was decreasing; it apparently isn't supposed to do that until about the 38th week. Yeah, not quite where I am at just yet. Its only serious if it continues to do so and starts to happen more quickly. She took images yesterday to see if she could find any sacks of amniotic fluid, and she measured a couple of them to make sure they were big enough to keep her safe and keep her healthy. Next week I have to back to the hospital for my third "official" ultrasound to have them take a more in-depth look at everything and do the non-stress test. As long as everything checks out, I should just have to be monitored once or twice a week. If not, I will have to call someone to pick up Ezra and we will walk over to the operating room and have a baby. Not exactly what we want, but we are very grateful that they are taking all of my concerns very seriously as well as their own and they are doing everything in their power to make sure everything is a-ok! As I am sure it will be. Its just kind of funny. When my mom was pregnant with me, she went in for a scheduled check-up on her lunch break from work. They were doing tests and then they told her she wouldn't be going back to work, she was going to have me that day. I wasn't due until the third or so week in September, but I was born July 14th instead. I was 9 1/2 weeks early. This little girl, even if she comes next week, will only be 5 weeks early, and babies at this stage are more often than not born without problems. She might just be in for some extra monitoring in the NICU, and it bodes well for her that she is a girl, because they tend to do a bit better than boys when born early. So blessing in disguise that I didn't get my second boy? I think so! Since I have been kind of going through things I have become a little more withdrawn. I tend to go through phases of that where I will avoid talking to people, I won't answer my door. I walk around hoping I don't run into people I know, because I just don't feel like talking. Cody & I tend to be very private people. We really like to keep to ourselves, keep all our business private and whatnot. So when I am anticipating news, have something that I am anxious about etc. I just keep to myself. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Just know that if I haven't been so social lately, its nothing to do with you personally, its completely 100% me. I feel like people always assume its them, when in fact people are just going through things and just don't want it all out there, so they pull back. I do this, all the time! So I am sorry if my quiet, reservedness hasn't offended anyone or made them think I am just being a jerk. I am just processing and trying to get myself in a place where I can deal. Now I have to focus on my little E's birthday this week! Can you believe he is already going to be 3!?!?! I sure can't. Time has flown by. My chunky, happy, sweet, cuddly little baby is a very active, VERY talkative, energetic, loving, tall, skinny little boy. He likes to hold my hand, he likes to go on little dates with me. He loves to hug and kiss cheeks. He only stops talking when he is asleep, and even then sometimes he talks in his sleep. He is learning how to recognize letters and numbers & he thinks he can spell his last name (he says "I-T-T-S", he's close). He wants to go to school. And if you ask him, he says he is turning 5, even though he told me he doesn't want to grow up...(me either buddy). It will be hard to let 2 go, as its been such a fun, challenging and just all-around wonderful year, but I am excited to see him grow. He starts pre-school in the Fall, which tugs on my heartstrings just a little, but it has been so rewarding to see how much he learns and grows each and every day asking LOTS of questions and remembering every single little detail. He has really flourished in Nursery without me in there, and I am so happy that he is the cute little guy he is & continues to become. Its all just happening way too fast, as most of you can attest. Well I will post next week (hopefully) on how what we ended up doing for his birthday and how all the testing goes. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

AGAIN?!?!?

Being a mom has made my life feel like one big game of "catch-up". Not that I would change it at all, it just seems that I will never be as on top of things as I once was. Which I guess isn't such a bad thing, it just means my priorities are where they should be, right? Well, since I have last posted my life has only gotten busier. I have been to Disneyland not once, but twice. I have been to Arizona for Christmas for two weeks and then went back again for another week for the open house of the Gilbert Temple....and I didn't know it at the time I posted last, but I was pregnant with our little girl.
We have just seven short weeks in counting until her semi-scheduled arrival. I painted her room last weekend, and I did some touch-up and a little stripe-age on her walls yesterday. Tomorrow calls for the assembly of her crib, ordering some shelving, and figuring out where her wall d├ęcor, some of which I hand-made myself, will go. Her bedding arrived 2 weeks ago, so I will need to put that on, her carseat is ready, she has freshly laundered blankets...and her big brother asks often if its time for me to go to the doctor to "get sister cut out". So it sounds like we are ready, right? Eh, almost. She still has no name. It just seems like this one is SOOO much harder than Ezra was to put a name on this child...with Ezra, he was named at 3-4 months in my pregnancy. Here we are in the bottom of the 8th and we are still stumped...We have a few things we like, but we aren't quite sure if they are "right" for her. But I went in for an ultrasound to make sure everything had moved to its proper place in preparation for my C-section, and she asked me if she could take some shots of the baby. So without any prompting from me (I don't like to bother the techs after working at an imagining center for so long and knowing what their schedule can be like)she put the 3D probe on and started taking shots. So we got a pretty good look at what she looks like. Cody says he can already tell she has my mouth and chin like Ezra does. The rest of her face seems to look like her brother, so it looks like we might be in for some more cuteness :) She already has her daddy wrapped around her little bitty fingers. So I have been enjoying the remainder of my time with me and my little buddy as we wait for our whole lives to change. So our awful dismal winter has been made up of lunch dates to City Creek & playing at the indoor dinosaur play area..
And every couple weeks we go on a movie date, to either the dollar theater or the discount theater for new movies. This winter we saw Planes, Frozen 3 or 4 times, The Lego Movie, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, Despicable Me 2, Free Birds, Mr. Peabody & Sherman...there are probably a few more, but I can't remember what they were called. Some I liked, some I could care less if I saw them again. But Ezra sure enjoys his movie dates. He wants a popcorn and a coke and he is good to go! He's definitely my child.
We are just hoping warm weather comes and stays soon so we can do some more fun things outside before she gets here. We have quite a list of things he wants to do. And we have his 3rd birthday coming up in less than 2 weeks! Hopefully I will get better at updating this than I have in the recent past. But I am not making any promises given my track record. :)

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Callings & California

Its been a crazy few weeks. We have been able to spend a lot of time as a little family, and that has been my absolute favorite part. It makes everything we do worth it when we can sit back and see how we are blessed as a family, not just individually. I was released as the nursery leader recently. And I kind of don't know what to do with myself. This is the first time I have been released without an immediate call to something else. And I am starting to feel lost, with no purpose week after week as I go to church with no calling. Ok, so its only been like 3 weeks, but that is a lifetime for me. (I might look back at this post in a couple months & regret thinking all of this, depending on what I am asked to do). Our Bishop told me, when he told me to anticipate a release, that there were a few things that were being put in motion & I might have an opportunity to work with the youth again. I was elated. I love working with the youth! They bring a light to my life that no other group can. They test my patience a lot of the time too, but seeing them at such an important phase in their lives, where they really find themselves & decide who they are going to be & what they are going to do is amazing. And being able to witness it & sometimes be a part of it is one of the most rewarding things. I beam with pride when I see the young women & young men I have been able to teach when I see who they have become and some of the choices they have made. Anyway, I hope that might turns into a definite yes! Ezra has really started to thrive without me in nursery. He has been singing, which he would never do when I was in there. And he is more friendly with the other kids. I have been able to supplement him when we are home, which is nice. He has learned so many songs in the last few weeks. We sing 4 or 5 before bed every night after we read his illustrated scriptures & I feel like we both do better when I am not the only one teaching him both at home & in nursery. He is able to get different things from different people, which is so good! And I am sure other people can teach him so many more things than I can. Plus, the poor kid needs some space & time away from his crazy mama. Well if he needed space, he is going to get a lot of it this weekend. Cody is sending me to CA to spend time with my sisters. I leave on Thursday, we are doing an all girls trip to Disneyland Friday, and then we can go to surf competitions, the beach or shopping on Saturday. I fly home later on Sunday afternoon. The whole thing has given me a little anxiety. I hate leaving Ezra at all, but leaving my baby in another state?!?!? That just seems crazy to me. It helps that he will be with his daddy :) And not having both of us gone. We have only both left once, and that was for Quest. I figured because we were only an hour away & because it was for a church calling, he would have extra protection & so would we, weird? I don't care. Otherwise it freaks me the heck out. I am one of those moms. Make fun of me, I don't care. Anyway. I am trying to be a lot better about posting. So lets see how long I can keep this thing up. Until next time.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Thoughts

I don't know about you, but a lot of the time when my house gets messy & I don't want to clean it, I get the itch to move. "Maybe if I had more space, I would have more places to put things, and then my house would be cleaner."-that kind of thing. And Pinterest has made this even worse for me! However I realized...I would have to clean that one too. I would have to vacuum & mop even more floors, I would have to straighten more rooms, I would have to pick up Ezra's toys in more spread-out areas. And boy does that not sound appealing. Especially when you consider how tough it is sometimes to get yourself to scrub the bathrooms you already have, to dust all the ceiling fans, patch the paint on the walls, clean the ample spaced kitchen you already have...and then add to it! Whoa. I am very grateful for the house we have & the home we have created inside of it. Is it perfect? No. Will anything ever be? Not a chance! So every time I mop or vacuum I am reminded that I am very grateful that its just these floors & not more! And that is the problem I think with the world today. (And sometimes it creeps into my head, because believe it or not, I am not perfect either. SHOCKER!) We aren't grateful enough for the things we already have & we think that having more might change that. Guess what? It might for a minute, but in the long run its not that kind of thing that makes anyone happy. I am grateful for my little family, would we like to add to it? Of course. But are we happy with the way it is now too? Absolutely. We are grateful for the place in which we live because of the people around us. Is it my ideal home? Not by a long shot! But am I grateful to live in a place where I have people who love me & where I have some support (even though it snows here?) Heavens yes! There are always going to be things in life that you wish were different, that is one thing that will never change. But what we can change is our attitude. Be grateful! I know I could always use some more gratitude in my life.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Starting Over

Its been a long time. I have loved just being with Ezra, playing all day, teaching him things & just watching him grow into his own little person. He is gotten to the point that he likes to help me clean. He loves to swiffer the kitchen floor, sweep, help vacuum, grab disinfecting wipes & wipe down anything within reach. Naming him something that meant "helper" I guess paid off. haha! We have had a lot going on this Summer. We recently had the amazing opportunity to participate in Quest. For those who don't know what that is, its a Super Activity where we take the time to either participate in or watch reenactments of stories that took place in the Book of Mormon. It was amazing! I was a little apprehensive about it at first, because we had to leave Ezra behind. But he had a great time with his Noni, Papa & two of his cousins who were nice enough to drive up from Arizona to take care of him. Anyway, Quest. We were there to be tribal leaders, which meant we were in charge of a group of youth between the ages of 14 & 18 for the duration of our time there. We didn't know any of these kids before we got there, so it was a little weird for us at first, but boy do I have so much love in my heart for each of these 9 kids we were entrusted with. I love every single one of them. They didn't come without their challenges, but we were able to sincerely bond with most, if not all of them.
Me & My Bestie Hillary dominating the Tug of War for our Nation
Some of our awesome Tribal Family Cody, Samantha, Bethany, Allyson & I (we are missing Kassidy & Sadie)
Love these boys Tanner & Brady
Love these sweet boys too Cameron & Mitchell
While we were there my love for the Gospel, my Savior & the amazing people I am able to serve with ran deeper than it ever has. I loved it so much, it was hard to come home. I was able to live, breathe & experience the Book of Mormon in a way that few people will be able to do. It was entirely true, this experience was going to change lives, just as they promised us when we were asked to be a part of it. The fact that Cody & I got to experience it together made it all the better. We got to watch each other teach these kids about what they were watching & experiencing & witness the other's testimony in a way we wouldn't have been able to do at home. I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to go. I hope in 4 or 8 years we will be asked to come again. Our neighborhood camp out was the week after we got back. And since a lot of the kids from our neighborhood & some of the adults had gone on Quest with us, it was the best one yet. We have been so blessed to live in the place that we do. We have remarkable people around us that we are able to spend time with & strengthen relationships with. They teach us a lot & just love us so much, its very humbling. We have recently been talking about making our next move, and this summer has really made me reconsider. I don't love our house itself, but I could never duplicate the people I am surrounded by & the love I have for this Stake & Ward that we live in. Cody thinks that maybe if he found me the perfect house I might reconsider, but I always respond with, you must not know me as well as you think I do if you think the house would make the difference. I LOVE THESE PEOPLE! I have made friends I will have for the rest of my life. >They have been able to make me feel like I have family in a place that I most certainly do not. I can't imagine my life without them & they have been such an asset in raising my little boy. They are the type of people that more people should be. They are interested in people, in family & gospel principles rather than the things the world tells us is important & that is something I love being surrounded with. Who cares that a lot of them are a bit older than we are, I have always loved that about it. I love that no one cares about what anyone has or does. Everyone here is happy for everyone else, not envious, none of that. I know exactly why the Lord wanted us in this exact spot to start our family. I am so grateful that we prayed as hard as we did, and searched as thoroughly as we did to find the right place for us to be. And though it not be the nicest house, its home. Its full of love, surrounded by love, full of laughter & happiness (most of the time) and I love it & that is what is truly important. So that is what we have been up to & what we have been learning for the past little while. Hopefully I will be able to make more time to blog & write my thoughts down, because it does feel good :)